Let Me Tell You How

Something is happening
That I do not understand.
I am here next to you
Because you are my family now.
You are for me,
that is what you have said.

“He offered me wine,” I begin.
I want to tell you how it happened,
But you pound the walls
With your fists
And you stare at your knuckles
How your hands are bleeding now.
I try to begin again.
This time without words,
I reach for you.
You are rigid in my arms,

“I will not touch you again.”
You tell me to call him.
Ask him if he is healthy.
Ask the man who raped me
If he is healthy.

I want to tell you how I feel.
But my feeling is in my body,
My body.
My body
You will not touch.
The woman at the clinic
Who answers my questions
Tells me we cannot know for months.
I am awake for four weeks.
No blood, no rest, no sex,
No kisses, no touch.

Something is happening that we can understand.
Let me tell you how.
This is how to touch my body:
Let me tell you how.
This is how to touch my body:
Let me tell you how.